Perspectives: Counseling Lessons from the World Number 1 Golfer Being Arrested This Morning

In a bizarre turn of events, the best golfer in the world was arrested and charged with felony assault this morning due to an apparent "misunderstanding" (ESPN's Jeff Darlington). From a Christian counseling lens, there's a lot we can learn from what happened.

Summary of Events

• A vendor was tragically killed by a bus in the early morning hours, and a roadblock was set up by police as a result.

• According to ESPN's Jeff Darlington, an eye witness to Scottie Scheffler's arrest, "players, tournament officials and broadcast media were allowed through the roadblock. "

• As Scheffler approached the roadblock in a marked PGA courtesy vehicle, he attempted to drive past it on the median.

• "A police officer approached Scheffler’s car and told him to stop but Scheffler continued to drive another '10 to 20 yards.' That’s when Darlington reported the officer “officer attached himself to the side of Scheffler’s car” and Scheffler stopped as he turned into the entrance of the golf course. After about 20 to 30 seconds, Scheffler rolled down his window to speak to the officer, Darlington said. According to Darlington, “the officer grabbed Scheffler’s arm to pull him out of the vehicle.” Scheffler was then pressed against the car and handcuffed, Darlington said." (https://golf.com/news/scottie-scheffler-detained-what-we-know/)

Interpreting Events Critically: Considering Context

Most of the initial accounts have done a remarkable job staying neutral, but big news has a way of inciting outrage. Certainly as this story gains traction, speculation and judgement will abound. However, the story becomes much less outrageous when we consider context:

• It was dark outside, and there were flashing police lights. Both the officer involved and Scheffler likely had trouble seeing clearly.

• The motion, intensity, and emotional connotations of the police lights likely contributed to autonomic arousal in both Scheffler and the officer.

• From the officer's perspective, someone had just died, and he was put in the incredibly stressful position of negotiating droves of frustrated drivers at one of the most prestigious sporting events in the country.

• A miscommunication is plausible in this chaotic environment.

Biblical Wisdom

Scripture offers many applicable insights here, a few of which are included below:

John 7:24 — "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment."

Proverbs 18:17 — "The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes

and examines him."

As with many issues we work on in counseling, readers have a choice about what to focus on. Unfortunately, social media and major news outlets have too often conditioned us to identify enemies and passionately crucify them. But we have alternatives. Rather than a "gut reaction," we can have a "brain reaction" — or perhaps even better — a "heart reaction." We can consider both perspectives and take an empathic stance. We can see things with nuance and understanding rather than in absolute terms. We can be blindly loyal to those we align with, or we can see the ubiquitous imperfection yet incomparable Image-bearing value in each person. We can judge others based on how God judges us: with love, mercy, and grace. After all, as we determine what "right judgment" is, wouldn't God's example be the best one?

Matthew 7:12 — "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

There can be a sick satisfaction to aligning with others against a common enemy. But Jesus did the opposite. When crowds persecuted individuals, Jesus joined those facing the crowd's ire (John 8:3-11). He also gave us the "golden rule," which reminds us how the police officer must feel right now.

Luke 6:37 — "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven."

From a mental health standpoint, forgiveness is one of the healthiest things we can do. As the number one golfer in the world, Scheffler could have been indignant. He could have called out the police department for how he felt unjustly treated, for what must have seemed to him like an absurd overreaction. But he didn't. His statement on his Instagram story is a great example of a mature, humble, magnanimous response, clarifying his intentions, acknowledging the chaos, and putting it all in perspective of the tragic death that set these events in motion.

How Forgiveness Paves the Way for Reconciliation

Scheffler could have leveraged this situation for financial gain and/or fame. He could take legal action against the police department. He could massively increase his social media following by contributing to the media firestorm surrounding these events. Instead, because Scottie responded the way he did, the ground is fertile for reconciliation. It sounds familiar:

Matthew 5:25 — “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison."

Scheffler did everything he could without compromising truth to make it possible for the police department to apologize and/or dismiss charges. He didn't make it combative and he didn't point the finger. The subtext of his message was forgiveness, and it paved the way for the police to reconcile with Scheffler.

Application

• How do you see yourself in the police officer?

• What have you learned from this situation?

• How has this example inspired you to respond to issues in your own life?

• What actions can you take right now to reconcile and forgive?
  

UPDATE:

Almost two weeks after his arrest, charges against Scheffler were dropped. In his Instagram story responding to the announcement, Scheffler reiterated that he feels "no ill will toward Officer Gillis" (https://www.espn.com/golf/story/_/id/40240096/charges-dropped-scottie-scheffler-louisville-arrest).

What Jesus and a Broken Grill Can Teach Us About Relationships

Imagine you knew you were going to die within the next 24 hours. Imagine you had known for years in advance the exact time of your death and you had spent years preparing your loved ones for your departure. I bet your words in the last 24 hours of your life would be terribly important, the overflow of your dearest values. Your deathbed words. And as your departure underlined your final words, I imagine their impact would deepen in the shadow of your passing. That’s how I imagine Jesus’s last hours, especially his prayers in Gethsemane. In his final moments of solitude, knowing he was about to face excruciating torture and death, what was on his heart?

Consider the magnitude of Jesus’s deathbed prayer to God in John 17:21. Jesus prayed for his followers to experience oneness—a oneness so close that it reflects the Trinity. He also explained the stakes: “so that the world may believe that You have sent Me.” In other words, our ability to reconcile with others reveals the heart of God to reconcile the world to himself (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). There is a supernatural power in how we love one another, and it is so compelling that it literally helps others believe in God.

Perhaps the potency of this approach is precisely because this is not the way of the world. Maybe more than any time in human history, we now live in a disposable age. We have been conditioned that if something is not working, we throw it away and get a new one. But far too often, it costs us dearly.

A couple years ago, I bought a slightly used Weber grill on Facebook Marketplace. The owner decided to sell it after the wind blew it over and damaged the instrument panel. It was broken, but rather than investigate to see if a fix was possible, the owner sold it to me for pennies on the dollar. After I brought it home, I called Weber and learned it was still under warranty. I paid a few bucks to ship the parts and spent a bit of time making the repair, and in the end I had a like-new Weber for less than $100 and less than an hour of time. Not only that, but in the process of repairing my grill, I gained a better appreciation for its craftsmanship, how to protect it going forward, and how to provide what it needed if other issues should arise. Okay, maybe I’m stretching this analogy a bit too far, but you get the point.

A person is infinitely more valuable than a Weber grill. Yet I have heard story after story of well-intended counselors advising a disposable approach. There is an important place for boundaries (see Matthew 18:15-17), but far too often we jump straight to boundaries without any real attempt at reconciliation. Too often, as each party stays in their hurt and dutifully builds boundaries to protect themselves, the chasm between them widens. The problem is that if our goal is to protect ourselves from those who hurt us, we lose the vulnerability that facilitates emotional intimacy and growth. Jesus proposes a better alternative. In his deathbed prayer, he doesn’t pray for protection from one another—he requests protection for one another so we can be unified.

One final thought: in difficult situations, there is usually at least one party who feels the situation is hopeless. They see the damage on the instrument panel and believe the grill is totaled. We should just sell it, they think, unable to conceive a better alternative in their hurt and frustration. It’s okay to feel hopeless and overwhelmed. But I hope you won’t stay there. The Bible makes it clear we are to do everything we can to live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18), urgently resolving problems (Ephesians 4:26) as a matter of utmost importance (Matthew 5:24). Unfortunately, we often don’t know how. That’s where an appropriately trained counselor with a high value for reconciliation can come in. They can hold onto hope when you feel hopeless. They can give you the Weber customer service number and tell you about the warranty. Often, the repair is easier than you think. And even when it isn’t, there are very few endeavors on this planet more worthwhile.

The Answer

In countless different ways, I’ve heard a lot of clients ask, “Why is my life such a mess?”

This is a very difficult question to answer, and I always strive to approach the exploration process with great compassion. As clients uncover the answers through the course of therapy, it often involves trauma, genetics, their upbringing, unpreventable hardships endemic to this broken world, and more. For most people, many of the hardships in their life were given to them by someone or something else. However, there’s another true answer that is sometimes more uncomfortable but far more liberating.

For those in the depths of the valley, what follows must be said very carefully because it is so difficult to receive. What follows can feel dismissive, even wounding. In fact, often even in Christian counseling, these things are carefully revealed or even self-discovered rather than said by the therapist. However, best-case scenario, here is what many clients eventually come to believe:

When I find my life is a mess, it’s often because I’m in charge of it. And I’m not supposed to be.

This is a critical difference between Christian counseling and every other type of counseling. The world is all about self-actualization, self-empowerment, and selfishness—which actually results in powerful self-consciousness. As believers, we know the source of hope, wisdom, joy, peace: the definer and author of truth itself. He is the purpose. He is the one who should be in charge of our lives, who wants to help clean up the mess. And when we let him, when we decide not to do it our way but to follow his Way instead, in this is true life found.

Depression often correlates to a lack of hope, and hope is often lost when we realize our hope was in hopeless things. There is one true hope. 

Anxiety often correlates to fear, a sense that bad things might happen, a lack of control. There is One who is in control, and he adores us beyond comprehension.

Suffering is so often a matter of perspective. Take a look at James 1:2-8. Imagine how a biblical perspective on suffering could transform our mental health!

Of course, when the excruciating pain of life confronts the truths above, it can be very difficult to grapple with the tension, to know how to put this wisdom into practice. A Christian counselor can help you navigate this space, and that’s actually how God designed us to function: in beautiful interdependence.